January 25, 2008
I cannot date. I've been in Korea too long.
Tina says she cannot handle me, that I've become very Korean in my thinking and my ways, that I've become a dictator. I see that. I cannot go back to Canada and date - no Canadian girl would have me. I cannot date a Korean girl - no Korean girl who would date a Canadian would have me. I'm lost. I have lost.
This morning Tina left without saying "good-bye". Just gone. I was vacuuming. I turned off the vacuum and started talking to her, but she wasn't in the house. Gone. Embarrassing. Like talking to myself, like talking with someone who doesn't care to listen or even stay in the same house long enough to listen. Like talking with someone who doesn't like me. Very embarrassing, very humbling.
She's right - I don't treat her well. Why? I know why. Every time I'm soft, gentle, gentlemanly, understanding, she thinks I'm weak and stupid. She is annoyed by my attempts at being soft and kind to her. I'm rejected. I remember the past all too well. She treats me well most of the time these days, but I still remember the past.
I wish I could change.
January 14, 2008
In other news, I can now change my visa type from one which needs to be updated yearly to one that will last for life. Stipulation: I must stay in Korea and only leave for a maximum of three months. Perks: I can work for someone else, run a business, divorce. Very strange. This puts a whole new twist on things.
January 4, 2008
An annoying trend in Korea is - are you ready? - the feminization of men. Ask any foreigner here in Korea - man or woman - and they'll tell you the same thing - that Korean men aren't manly. Case in point:
Click for the full view.
I was reading the Korea Herald and found I could no longer stomach men that look sooooooo much like women. Have a look at the facial expressions of these "men". There's nothing masculine about them. They're like male women. Why do they go so far out of their way, so far away from their natural, normal nature, to be feminine? Sure, according to science, roughly 8-10% of male mammals bend in that direction - but every goddam man in Korea? Come on, folks (the male ones), be a man! And women! Why are you attracted to men who are so fem? They're not real men!!! Roses? C'mon! Did it start at childhood? Did your parents dress you up in dresses? Did you do a little too much experimenting in high school? Good gravy. I'm not saying carry a gun, spit on every street corner, beat up your wife and / or girlfriend, drive a 4X4 Dodge Powerwagon, and lift 100kg with your ass muscles, but at least try to look a little more like men!
January 1, 2008
Tina is back. Sooooooooo many people asked, "Is she coming back?" "Of course she is," I said. Firstly, she's never owned her very own school here in Korea before. Secondly, she lives here, so I know if she wanted to leave again she would have to deal with her life here again. (Her clothes and such are / were still here.)