March 18, 2012

stubborn old man
I talked with Les (formerly known as 'Dad') a few weeks ago.  Here's roughly how the conversation went.  "Hi, it's me."  "Oh..."  "How are you?"  "Alright."  I asked about Glenn.  He said he didn't know.  I asked his opinion, and he said that I should probably talk with Glenn.

A couple weeks later I called again.  I said I wanted to talk with him.  "I'm listening," he said.  I told him that I wanted to hear it from him directly.  "You think I'm guilty?"  "You and I both know you are."  "So you believe the Korean government over me?"  He hung up on me.  Imagine, your own father hanging up on you.  Fucking child.  I called back and got his answering machine.  I left a message saying that I lost $70,000, my job, my life in Korea, half my family, all my friends ... for what?  For something that I didn't do.  I called him a fucking coward and told him to pick up the phone.  Of course, being the stubborn shit that he is, he did not.  So that's the end of him.

I rip my shirt.

no answer
I called Glenn 4 times yesterday, left 2 messages.  Maybe Glenn is pissed off at me again.  We finally talked a few weeks ago and patched things up, but maybe he's been listening to pressure from his dad again.  Who knows.  I left a message that I might go out to the coast during Easter this year.  I just now left another message on his phone.  I guess I'll wait for him to call me back.  Not holding my breath.

This whole family is really fucked up.  Why couldn't I be born into a normal family?  A sister who hates me and judges me for something I never did.  An alcoholic father who fucks his own kin (yes, his niece, Karen) (no wonder he wanted to drive out from Vancouver to Brandon ever summer), chooses to spend all his time, energy, and money on beer, whiskey, and girlfriends instead of his own family.  Glenn suffers from depression and cannot get out of the mire, though it really isn't fair that he wasn't given a chance to be a whole person.  A mother who cares but is so conditioned into the passive-aggressive thing that she bugs the hell out of everyone.

I wonder what life would be like with a normal family.