2014-07-11

Glenn is not coming to Alberta with me.  He does not want someone else deciding what he has to do.  He does not want to sit in a car for 2 days.  He does not want to live in Alberta.  He does not want to have someone talk him into staying there longer.  He does not want Mom to stifle his ways (drink, cigarette, pot).  He does not want many things, but the issue is he doesn’t know what he actually wants to replace what he doesn’t want.  His buddy, Kelly, says he can move in with him, making it three people in one house.  This is good except that Father says that Kelly and his old man fight a lot and it rubs off on Glenn, and he doesn’t want it coming home to influence their already strained relationship.  As well, he cannot dry out or curb his pot smoking.  He has lived with Kelly three times before but admits that that was during a different time.

Father wants my address.  I wrote it down for him, but he thinks Glenn took it and hid it.  I really don’t think Glenn would do that.  It would be crossing the line, something that neither of us has ever done to each other.  There are two exceptions.

One example of crossing the line was at the doctor’s office when he questioned my not giving him the pills that Laura gave me to give to him.  Frankly, it simply slipped my mind.  It didn’t think it was important because they weren’t pain killers – they were for bladder infections.  Two of the three bottles were, anyway.  I fell asleep without checking the third because I’d already taken sleep meds at that point.  Anyway, he thought I was withholding them from him.  <sigh>  In all the time he’s known me, have I ever done that?  Have I ever made decisions for him without his knowledge?  I told him, “Me?!”  “What?” he said.  “Me?”  I got his attention.  “Of all the people in your life, you think I would do such a thing?  Seriously?”  Twice during that conversation he interrupted and completed my sentence with what was in his head, not mine.  Twice he chose not to listen to my explanation but, rather, continue on with his own thoughts.  Like father, like son.  He accuses Father of this, yet he does it all the time.  The second time was in very similar circumstances.  We were sitting outside after Father and he argued.  See yelling match below.  I told him I was tired of people finishing off my sentences with their own words to suit their needs so as to portray their thoughts rather than listen to my thoughts.  The only reason to start a sentence is to share thoughts.  No point in doing this if a) nobody is listening and b) they interrupt and fill in the blanks with their own words.  Wisdom comes from listening, not talking.

Yes, living together is negative for the both of them.  There was a yelling match just before noon the day I left (Wed, I think) between the two of them.  Father asked, “You taking your bike?”  Glenn inquired, “What?  Where?”  “To Alberta.”  “I’m not going,” Glenn replied.  “What?!!” Father said in exasperation.  Then the argument began.  Glenn said Father was treating him like a child, and Father said he was acting that way.  Glenn’s point was that everyone else is trying to decide what’s good for him.  Father’s point was that he needed to get out because the stress was killing him.

I believe I caught Father in a lie.  Before I left, I said good-bye to him.  He took out a roast the same day that Brenda & Jerry visited, a big bone of contention with Glenn, since they’re his friends, not Father’s.  Father didn’t tell Glenn that they phoned and said that they were coming.  Glenn looked in the fridge, found the roast, and thought, “Oh, Dad cares.”  As it turns out, it wasn’t actually for him but for Brenda & Jerry, according to Father’s earlier story.  Now, according to Father, he said that he didn’t know they were coming at the time he took out the roast.

So, Glenn has gone to Laura’s.  Yes, the same woman whom Glenn claims unfairly used his Jeep, talks too much, owes him $20,000, has too many psychological problems, and generally buggars up things.

Father wanted my address so as to complete the process of making me executor of his will.  As it is now, Glenn is.  But Father says he cannot be relied upon to carry out the process.  I agreed to do it as he is my Father.

I cannot comment on Glenn’s ability to do this because he is under an enormous amount of stress living at Father’s, and this, as we both agreed upon, has changed him into a disagreeable person.  “I didn’t used to be this way,” he said.  “In my apartment I was happy.”  I believe he was.  But now he hasn’t the income to live there.  He hasn’t worked in many years due to back problems, depression, and drug dependency.

At the saw mill, everyone was high or drinking all the time.  It was a way of life.  One had to just to fit in and deal with the stresses of working there.  Now, this drug dependency is just that – a habit from a previous era.  But he does not want to quit.  It’s his lifestyle.

This just happens to coincide with Washington state, USA’s decision to legalize recreational marijuana.  How’s that for timing.  (I leave this as a statement with a period not a question with a question mark as it is a rhetorical question, one where an answer will only cloud the issues.  No pun intended.)  Medical marijuana is legal in BC and is controlled except for on the black market of course.